Every so often, in fact, very often, I browse through the photographs I've taken over the years, and the ones that I linger over the most are those of my beloved hometown of Ringsend, Dublin.
This particular image I took of my avenue shortly before I left in the summer of 1969. As I stared intently at the houses facing onto one another, side by side in a straight row, they looked like dancers waiting for their musical cue to move forward. I believe houses hold memories. I tried to imagine how many family situations made their way through the wallpapered walls of the neighbouring houses, our neighbours on both sides were placid to the extreme.
As I'm fascinated by rooftops I'm so happy to have captured the avenue back at a time when huge TV aerials were essential if you wanted to view television channels from across the water, namely, the BBC and UTV. We didn't have one so made do with Radio Telefis Eireann, great programmes they were too! Below are my few words of tribute to a time gone by.
Terraced Lives
Like stone-faced dancers
The houses face each other.
Conjoined bricks and mortar hold within them secrets of the dwellers
And, through faded creamy rosebud paper, sounds from distant rooms.
Like grotesque mosquitoes hung in time
Steel grey aerials stand tall against the darkened skyline,
Their rooftop vantage serving the human need to look beyond its own wretched life
Onto an imagined brighter landscape.
© Ann Brien 2012
Above image: Cambridge Avenue, Ringsend, Dublin taken by me, May 1969.
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Friday, August 10, 2012
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Remembering Norma Jeane

I wasn't quite eleven years old when the body of Marilyn Monroe was found in the early hours of August 5th, 1962, in her Los Angeles home. Dead at the age of just thirty six. I vaguely remember the newspaper headlines and all the commotion at the time but what I vividly remember is seeing the many images of this truly beautiful blonde-haired woman whose eyes held you captive with their dreamy softness and that perfectly formed mouth.
Eleven years later those same photographs were to once again draw me like a magnet to Marilyn, not only because of her great beauty, but this time, sitting in my Dublin bed-sit, I'd just read about her tragic early life in The Sunday Times Magazine, 7th October, 1973. Some of her pain I could identify with.
During the early 1970s I was doing a bit of photographic modelling and sometimes during a shoot I'd pretend I was Marilyn, I felt inspired by her. As I'd wanted to be an actress since I was twelve years old I promised myself that if I ever succeeded in fulfilling that dream, Marilyn would again be my inspiration.
Maybe the cause of her death will never be determined but I'd like to think it wasn't murder or suicide.
Famous Marilyn Monroe Quote: “I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.” That told 'em!
Goodbye, Norma Jeane, you are in the hearts and minds of people today, you always will be. Rest In Peace.
Top image of Marilyn via www.telegraph.co.uk
Centre image via The Sunday Times
Bottom image, my photoshoot 1971-1974
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Friday, August 3, 2012
Maeve Binchy - Storyteller Extraordinaire
I was a late comer to the writings of Maeve Binchy. In fact, it wasn't until the summer of 2006 that I read a whole bunch of her short stories during a long, hot, holiday in the South of France. Reading through each narrative I became increasingly aware of Maeve's great ability to touch the very soul of the reader with her heart-warming and sometimes, quite painful outcome of the characters you got to know so well, you were deeply affected by it. For me, that's the sign of a great storyteller.
Maeve was the author of sixteen novels, two of which were later made into TV films (The Lilac Bus and Echoes). Three others, Circle of Friends, Tara Road and How About You were made into feature films. She also wrote four collections of short stories, a play, Deeply Regretted By and the novella, Star Sullivan.
It was while working in the Irish Times London office during the early 1970s that she began writing fiction and where she would meet her husband, Gordon Snell. Her first novel, Light A Penny Candle, was published in 1982 and remained in the Top 10 charts for fifty three weeks.
My favourite Maeve Binchy quote in which she once said of her female characters "I don't have ugly ducklings turning into swans in my stories. I have ugly ducklings turning into confident ducks". Wow!
On Monday evening, 30th July, Maeve Binchy aged 72, died peacefully in hospital after a short illness with her husband, Gordon and sister, Joan at her side. Her funeral service took place this morning in the Church of the Assumption, Dalkey attended by hundreds of mourners from near and far. This was a lady so much loved, not only for her great gift of storytelling, but for the lovely person she was. She will be sadly missed.
Our Taoiseach, Enda Kenny in his tribute to Maeve on Tuesday said: "Today we have lost a national treasure...." We're all with you on that one, Enda. Rest In Peace, Maeve.
Above image of Maeve Binchy via www.irishtimes.com
Church of the Assumption, Dalkey taken by me on 26th July 2012
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Maeve was the author of sixteen novels, two of which were later made into TV films (The Lilac Bus and Echoes). Three others, Circle of Friends, Tara Road and How About You were made into feature films. She also wrote four collections of short stories, a play, Deeply Regretted By and the novella, Star Sullivan.
It was while working in the Irish Times London office during the early 1970s that she began writing fiction and where she would meet her husband, Gordon Snell. Her first novel, Light A Penny Candle, was published in 1982 and remained in the Top 10 charts for fifty three weeks.
My favourite Maeve Binchy quote in which she once said of her female characters "I don't have ugly ducklings turning into swans in my stories. I have ugly ducklings turning into confident ducks". Wow!
On Monday evening, 30th July, Maeve Binchy aged 72, died peacefully in hospital after a short illness with her husband, Gordon and sister, Joan at her side. Her funeral service took place this morning in the Church of the Assumption, Dalkey attended by hundreds of mourners from near and far. This was a lady so much loved, not only for her great gift of storytelling, but for the lovely person she was. She will be sadly missed.
Our Taoiseach, Enda Kenny in his tribute to Maeve on Tuesday said: "Today we have lost a national treasure...." We're all with you on that one, Enda. Rest In Peace, Maeve.
Above image of Maeve Binchy via www.irishtimes.com
Church of the Assumption, Dalkey taken by me on 26th July 2012
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Monday, July 30, 2012
Ireland's Little Bay of Naples - A Day In Killiney
Last Thursday morning started off with warm sunshine and a clear blue
sky. Not having experienced much of that this summer I decided it would
be the perfect day for a trip to Killiney,
the lovely seaside resort in south County Dublin.
At around mid-day, hubby and I got the bus into town, then the DART (Dublin Area Rapid Transit), our wonderful train service which travels along our Dublin Bay coastline, to Killiney Station. After walking the full length of Killiney Beach we then sat on a rock to munch on our bananas and Hula Hoops, washed down with, by then, warm bottled water. I was in seventh Heaven!
We had planned on walking the hour long journey back to Dalkey village but en route decided to take in Killiney Hill. The climb was breathtaking in every respect! Half way up I really did think I wouldn't be able to make it, I was completely out of breath and gasping like a set of asthmatic bagpipes! I knew hubby would have been disappointed and I definitely had to prove to myself that this was well within my capability, so onward I struggled. It was worth every wheeze as the images convey.
A couple of hours later we arrived in Dalkey village where we revived ourselves with coffees in The Queens Bar and Restaurant in Castle Street. Afterwards, headed to the DART station where we only had a few minutes to wait for the train back to the city centre. As it was 5.30pm and right in the middle of evening rush hour we strolled around town then met up with our youngest son for dinner in Buswells Hotel, Molesworth Street, my favourite haunt. All in all, a lovely day out.
All above Killiney/Dalkey images taken by me.
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At around mid-day, hubby and I got the bus into town, then the DART (Dublin Area Rapid Transit), our wonderful train service which travels along our Dublin Bay coastline, to Killiney Station. After walking the full length of Killiney Beach we then sat on a rock to munch on our bananas and Hula Hoops, washed down with, by then, warm bottled water. I was in seventh Heaven!
We had planned on walking the hour long journey back to Dalkey village but en route decided to take in Killiney Hill. The climb was breathtaking in every respect! Half way up I really did think I wouldn't be able to make it, I was completely out of breath and gasping like a set of asthmatic bagpipes! I knew hubby would have been disappointed and I definitely had to prove to myself that this was well within my capability, so onward I struggled. It was worth every wheeze as the images convey.
A couple of hours later we arrived in Dalkey village where we revived ourselves with coffees in The Queens Bar and Restaurant in Castle Street. Afterwards, headed to the DART station where we only had a few minutes to wait for the train back to the city centre. As it was 5.30pm and right in the middle of evening rush hour we strolled around town then met up with our youngest son for dinner in Buswells Hotel, Molesworth Street, my favourite haunt. All in all, a lovely day out.
All above Killiney/Dalkey images taken by me.
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Sunday, July 8, 2012
Forgiveness
This afternoon I was browsing through an old shoebox containing bits and pieces from as far back as the mid to late 1990s. I was amazed to find a piece of paper on which I'd written down my then feelings towards my adoptive mother. It was a poem I called "Forgiveness" and dated a couple of years after her passing in 1996. Thankfully, as a result of many years of therapy during the late 90s, in which I dealt with those feelings, no trace of that anger remains.
Mum loved me very much. I will always miss her.
Forgiveness
It can't have been easy for you
I know that now.
There came no reassuring touch or words of comfort as you fought the demons which raged within you
Instead, you unleashed those howling beasts upon a helpless child who could not understand your fury.
They frightened me, damn you
Still, it can't have been easy.
© Ann Brien 2012
Above image taken by me in Allihies, West Cork, February 2011.
Mum loved me very much. I will always miss her.
Forgiveness
It can't have been easy for you
I know that now.
There came no reassuring touch or words of comfort as you fought the demons which raged within you
Instead, you unleashed those howling beasts upon a helpless child who could not understand your fury.
They frightened me, damn you
Still, it can't have been easy.
© Ann Brien 2012
Above image taken by me in Allihies, West Cork, February 2011.
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Tuesday, June 26, 2012
"With This Ring......" I'm A Mother-In-Law!
It's a little over two and a half months since I finished my radiotherapy treatment for breast cancer and I'm so glad to report that I am now over the worst of the tiredness and life is beginning to return to some degree of normality, whatever that was to begin with!
My greatest fear during the past six months was that I wouldn't be well enough to enjoy our eldest son's June wedding. Well, I can happily say that on the day my health was never better. Be it the adrenaline, call it what you will, I had an energy and vitality the like of which I've not felt for many, many months. I should have been exhausted given that I'd spent the previous couple of weeks flying around town, looking for the perfect mother-of-the-groom outfit, aided and abetted of course by some of my very close girlfriends! We had such a laugh. Following the purchase we then headed to O'Neill's Bar & Restaurant in Suffolk Street for lunch and a celebratory drink.
Well, the wedding ceremony itself took place in the Newman University Church on St. Stephen's Green, Dublin. Outside, while the rain fell in torrents, within the ancient walls of this magnificant building the light shone brightly as our son and his beautiful bride exchanged their wedding vows, a moment to cause every mother's heart to burst with pride and joy and a tiny sense of "handing them over". (Dads of course too, but in a different way!). I would love to include here photos of the happy couple but I decided long ago never to post images of family or friends for their own privacy with maybe the exception now and again of hubby.

The reception was held just across the Green in the splended St. Stephen's Green Hibernian Club, but the planned photoshoot beforehand in St. Stephen's Green Park, to be followed by the short walk to the venue, came a cropper to the elements as heavy rain forced the wedding party to hail down taxis, the whole scene looking very much straight out of a Hollywood comedy, we had such fun. The rain didn't spoil the proceedings in any way, in fact it will have made for much hilarious memories! Hope someone got a photo of us frantically hailing those taxis!
Alongside our own wedding and the birth of our two children this day holds one very special place in my heart. We wish our son and our new wonderful daughter-in-law a long, happy and healthy life together.
Top image: Newman University Church via www.universitychurch.ie
Mid image: Me during wedding ceremony.
Bottom image: Hubby and I deep in conversation in Hibernian Club.
My greatest fear during the past six months was that I wouldn't be well enough to enjoy our eldest son's June wedding. Well, I can happily say that on the day my health was never better. Be it the adrenaline, call it what you will, I had an energy and vitality the like of which I've not felt for many, many months. I should have been exhausted given that I'd spent the previous couple of weeks flying around town, looking for the perfect mother-of-the-groom outfit, aided and abetted of course by some of my very close girlfriends! We had such a laugh. Following the purchase we then headed to O'Neill's Bar & Restaurant in Suffolk Street for lunch and a celebratory drink.
Well, the wedding ceremony itself took place in the Newman University Church on St. Stephen's Green, Dublin. Outside, while the rain fell in torrents, within the ancient walls of this magnificant building the light shone brightly as our son and his beautiful bride exchanged their wedding vows, a moment to cause every mother's heart to burst with pride and joy and a tiny sense of "handing them over". (Dads of course too, but in a different way!). I would love to include here photos of the happy couple but I decided long ago never to post images of family or friends for their own privacy with maybe the exception now and again of hubby.

The reception was held just across the Green in the splended St. Stephen's Green Hibernian Club, but the planned photoshoot beforehand in St. Stephen's Green Park, to be followed by the short walk to the venue, came a cropper to the elements as heavy rain forced the wedding party to hail down taxis, the whole scene looking very much straight out of a Hollywood comedy, we had such fun. The rain didn't spoil the proceedings in any way, in fact it will have made for much hilarious memories! Hope someone got a photo of us frantically hailing those taxis!
Alongside our own wedding and the birth of our two children this day holds one very special place in my heart. We wish our son and our new wonderful daughter-in-law a long, happy and healthy life together.
Top image: Newman University Church via www.universitychurch.ie
Mid image: Me during wedding ceremony.
Bottom image: Hubby and I deep in conversation in Hibernian Club.
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Friday, April 27, 2012
Radiotherapy Treatment Done - Final Hurdle Accomplished!
This has probably been my longest time without posting and I have to admit it feels really scary getting back out there! So, before the afternoon fatigue sets in I will bring you up-to-date on what's been happening for me over the past few weeks.
On March 22nd I began the first of my twenty daily radiation sessions (excluding weekends and one Bank Holiday). Fifteen of those treatments were to the right side of my chest - the breast itself with a large surrounding coverage, basically from my shoulder to a couple of inches below my breast. The remaining five were "boost" treatments directly into the tumour site, receiving a slightly higher dose than the previous "standard" ones.
With the exception of the first and last treatment, all my appointments were afternoon times. It's amazing how you can reschedule your life when needs be, for one whole month the daily travel became part of our normal routine. Hubby, to whom I'll be eternally grateful, provided the necessary taxi service and sat with me in the waiting area until my name was called then afterwards endured the drive home through the rush-hour traffic, which I have to admit wasn't as bad as we'd anticipated.
The radiation treatments themselves were to say the least, very interesting. The first day took the longest as they had to position me then take measurements and images to make sure everything was in order before the treatment could begin. The Radiation Treatment Machine (almost identical to the above image) scared me a little at first. I saw it as a giant living monster especially when its left arm (the one which took the images) moved over me then back again followed by the huge main head which would move right across me, down the other side and back above me. The whirring sound of that machine will remain etched in my memory for evermore.
I was very lucky in having excellent mobility in my right arm following the surgery as I had to have both arms raised above my head on the table for a considerable time period that day. The subsequent days required only a minimal amount of positioning and measuring. Three weeks into the treatment more images were taken to check that my right lung wasn't being affected by the radiation as it was slightly exposed during each dose.
By the end of the second week I was beginning to feel the first tiring effects. When they checked my blood pressure it was 185/102 and as I was also having headache and dizziness they sent me to my GP who put me on Omesar 10mg to lower the pressure. I'm really hoping it's not a side-effect of the Femara medication and that I'll be off the blood-pressure pills very soon. Both the hospital people and my GP think it's probably the combined effects of the medication and radiation, my poor body doesn't know which end of it is up!
By the end of week three there were days when I was so tired and nauseous I thought I wouldn't be able to keep my appointments. This is what they prepared me for but I didn't think it would actually happen to me. One day it hit me on the way home from the hospital, my body felt like lead and I fought hard to keep my eyes open. The tiredness was so bad it was scary! From about the second "boost" dose the fatigue has worsened not to mention the "hot flashes" from the Femara, which can on a bad day, be anything up to near twenty in total! Night time can also be a right curse with one minute waking up sweating the next, freezing!
However, I have to look at all of this in a positive light - the side-effects, nasty as they are, pose a very small inconvenience in comparison to having the cancer recur.
I have been extremely lucky with the radiation in that I've not burned except for a small blister beneath my breast which is slightly broken but otherwise my skin is fine. Apparently burning can be an issue for some women.
If it's any help to anyone, I used E45 lotion twice a day - first lot in the morning then washed if off later in the shower (using only Simple soap) before attending the unit then again before going to bed. I still continue with that routine which thank God, seems to be still working for me. For the past five weeks I've not used any deodorant or shaved under my arms, hence possibly beginning to resemble my one of my very early ancestors! Another three weeks until my armpits are bald and smelling of roses!
For any woman starting her radiotherapy treatment let me say that you have absolutely nothing to fear. At no point is there any discomfort during the process. The only problem for some women might be that their underarm may not be fully mobile following lymph node removal. My one word of advice would be to try to keep up the gentle arm exercises given by your physiotherapist following surgery, they really, really help.
So, my final radiation session was on the morning of April 20th. In a strange way I felt a sense of sadness leaving the building that had become my second home for the past month, indeed, for the past three months. Meeting the radiation therapists each day was like going into the office to chat with the girls and the young man. On Mondays we would talk about our weekend activities, mine definitely being a lot more sedentary than theirs!
Before leaving I was given my six-week check-up appointment and again saw the nurse who photographed my boob then dressed my broken blister. They keep a good eye on you in there during your treatment, one week you see the doctor then the following week, the nurse.
In some ways the tiredness is getting more pronounced as the weeks go by meaning, that sometimes I can't go somewhere that I've really looked forward to or just plain not being able to go on my walks. In time I know I'll be fine.
Radiotherapy Treatment Machine Image: www.myradiotherapy.com
St. James's Hospital, Dublin, Radiotherapy Treatment Waiting Area: www.avsystems.ie
On March 22nd I began the first of my twenty daily radiation sessions (excluding weekends and one Bank Holiday). Fifteen of those treatments were to the right side of my chest - the breast itself with a large surrounding coverage, basically from my shoulder to a couple of inches below my breast. The remaining five were "boost" treatments directly into the tumour site, receiving a slightly higher dose than the previous "standard" ones.
With the exception of the first and last treatment, all my appointments were afternoon times. It's amazing how you can reschedule your life when needs be, for one whole month the daily travel became part of our normal routine. Hubby, to whom I'll be eternally grateful, provided the necessary taxi service and sat with me in the waiting area until my name was called then afterwards endured the drive home through the rush-hour traffic, which I have to admit wasn't as bad as we'd anticipated.
The radiation treatments themselves were to say the least, very interesting. The first day took the longest as they had to position me then take measurements and images to make sure everything was in order before the treatment could begin. The Radiation Treatment Machine (almost identical to the above image) scared me a little at first. I saw it as a giant living monster especially when its left arm (the one which took the images) moved over me then back again followed by the huge main head which would move right across me, down the other side and back above me. The whirring sound of that machine will remain etched in my memory for evermore.
I was very lucky in having excellent mobility in my right arm following the surgery as I had to have both arms raised above my head on the table for a considerable time period that day. The subsequent days required only a minimal amount of positioning and measuring. Three weeks into the treatment more images were taken to check that my right lung wasn't being affected by the radiation as it was slightly exposed during each dose.
By the end of the second week I was beginning to feel the first tiring effects. When they checked my blood pressure it was 185/102 and as I was also having headache and dizziness they sent me to my GP who put me on Omesar 10mg to lower the pressure. I'm really hoping it's not a side-effect of the Femara medication and that I'll be off the blood-pressure pills very soon. Both the hospital people and my GP think it's probably the combined effects of the medication and radiation, my poor body doesn't know which end of it is up!
By the end of week three there were days when I was so tired and nauseous I thought I wouldn't be able to keep my appointments. This is what they prepared me for but I didn't think it would actually happen to me. One day it hit me on the way home from the hospital, my body felt like lead and I fought hard to keep my eyes open. The tiredness was so bad it was scary! From about the second "boost" dose the fatigue has worsened not to mention the "hot flashes" from the Femara, which can on a bad day, be anything up to near twenty in total! Night time can also be a right curse with one minute waking up sweating the next, freezing!
However, I have to look at all of this in a positive light - the side-effects, nasty as they are, pose a very small inconvenience in comparison to having the cancer recur.
I have been extremely lucky with the radiation in that I've not burned except for a small blister beneath my breast which is slightly broken but otherwise my skin is fine. Apparently burning can be an issue for some women.
If it's any help to anyone, I used E45 lotion twice a day - first lot in the morning then washed if off later in the shower (using only Simple soap) before attending the unit then again before going to bed. I still continue with that routine which thank God, seems to be still working for me. For the past five weeks I've not used any deodorant or shaved under my arms, hence possibly beginning to resemble my one of my very early ancestors! Another three weeks until my armpits are bald and smelling of roses!
For any woman starting her radiotherapy treatment let me say that you have absolutely nothing to fear. At no point is there any discomfort during the process. The only problem for some women might be that their underarm may not be fully mobile following lymph node removal. My one word of advice would be to try to keep up the gentle arm exercises given by your physiotherapist following surgery, they really, really help.
So, my final radiation session was on the morning of April 20th. In a strange way I felt a sense of sadness leaving the building that had become my second home for the past month, indeed, for the past three months. Meeting the radiation therapists each day was like going into the office to chat with the girls and the young man. On Mondays we would talk about our weekend activities, mine definitely being a lot more sedentary than theirs!
Before leaving I was given my six-week check-up appointment and again saw the nurse who photographed my boob then dressed my broken blister. They keep a good eye on you in there during your treatment, one week you see the doctor then the following week, the nurse.
In some ways the tiredness is getting more pronounced as the weeks go by meaning, that sometimes I can't go somewhere that I've really looked forward to or just plain not being able to go on my walks. In time I know I'll be fine.
Radiotherapy Treatment Machine Image: www.myradiotherapy.com
St. James's Hospital, Dublin, Radiotherapy Treatment Waiting Area: www.avsystems.ie
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